April 23, 2010
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Shopping Experience
I went to grap food for my amazing crock pot meal for tomorrow. I went to the check out. The woman said NOTHING to me. I told her I was paying with EBT (Massachusetts Food Stamps) and cash via my debit card because I only use food stamps for the food that’s for the whole family and I paid for my soda seperate. Idk what went up this woman’s ass but she ignored me completely and kept giving me dirty looks. The only thing she said to me was “I assume you’ll want this kept out” in reference to the soda I paid cash for. She then started talkign ot the customer behind me telling her all about deals on food she had put up on the belt. The bagger bagged my items and didn’t put them into my cart. Wouldn’t even look me in the eyes at all. and started bagging the other customers thigns before I had all of my things in my cart. I had no idea what was mine and what wasn’t. I called the store manager I was so mad. I will be meeting with him on monday. I’m sorry but when I have two children with me I obviously can’t be doing their job for them! Not for nothing, but I have never been made to feel ashamed for using food stamps before. EVER. I was so embarrased today.
Joe is out with another girl right now. I hate him. He also over drew his bank account to pay for that dirty website ulust.com He told me he is out with a girl named Tiffany. I don’t believe him. He made a dirty video of himself in my house when I wasn’t home. You can see my girls pictures in the back ground. It’s disgusting. You can guess what the video is of. He posted it to his dirty website. And he still had the nerve to tell me that he couldn’t buy diapers. I won that battle though. He did buy the girls diapers. That was good of him I guess. But to tell me that he still loves me while posting that shit online, ewe. He’s goign to hurt another girl and it kills me. I just want to message them all and warn them. And not for nothing, but he also has his e-mail address linked on my bank of america account. I found that out today. Piece of shit. Am I ever going to be okay?
In other news, after my HAWC group meeting, a group for abused women, there was a woman there giving free massages!!!! She goes to the HAWC place once a month and does this for the ladies. I about cried. It was 40 minutes and it was absolutely amazing. The lotions and the music. I swaer, it was one of the nicest thigns that has ever happened. I feel quite thankful for that.
I have been doing therepy, HAWC support groups, cleaning, gardening, cooking, play groups with my girls, and reconnecting with family, and still I feel so broken. How can one person cause so much damage. =(
I am also involved in welfare employment group and job search groups. I am attending all of those meetings following all the rules and trying my hardes to get a job. Since Jan, I have applied to over 400 jobs. It’s hard to believe that I haven’t gotten one, but my employment guy says that no one is hiring. It’s awful. He has another client, who is also the mother to one of Chloe’s daycare firends, who is in the same boat. She and I talk and trade job application options. It’s just sad. I can’t live off of 600 a month. It’s damn near impossible.