The Egyptian phoenix was said to be as large as an eagle, with brilliant scarlet and gold plumage and a melodious cry. Only one phoenix existed at any time, and it was very long-lived—no ancient authority gave it a life span of less than 500 years. As its end approached, the phoenix fashioned a nest of aromatic boughs and spices, set it on fire, and was consumed in the flames. From the pyre miraculously sprang a new phoenix, which, after embalming its father’s ashes in an egg of myrrh, flew with the ashes to Heliopolis (“City of the Sun”) in Egypt, where it deposited them on the altar in the temple of the Egyptian god of the sun, Re. A variant of the story made the dying phoenix fly to Heliopolis and immolate itself in the altar fire, from which the young phoenix then rose.

Happy Easter Eve.

Today I had my 2 year review at work. It went well. I got a 2% raise. Overall they have noticed significant change in my work and interoffice communication. I'm glad.

Today at the psych med follow up I mentioned how completely overwhelmed and stressed I have been. She agreed that at this point in time things Ste beyond my *zen* powers. She RX klonopin and xanex. The klonopin I am supposed to take at night for sleep and anxiety. The xanex is my rescue medication. I'm so thankful I will have a safety net.

Aside from crazy stress, life is moving along. One day at a time.

I am happy I am writing again.

What a long day. 

Teddy is doing better. Pneumonia and the ER last night. Neb today and ABX. 

https://secure3.convio.net/hrc/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=1605 Don't forget to voice your opinion. Better to have one than to sit silently while others live your life for you. 

I really do need to start writing again. Its so helpful. 

Ciao

I am a strong and independant woman worthy of great things!

1. I was empowered at my HAWC meeting.

2. I felt gorgeous after I did my hair and makeup.

3. I had a good day with my girls.

My 3 - to keep things going, 3 things per day that I am thankful for, or that went well, or things that are good about my life for that day. Every day. You should try...Even when it's difficult.

1. I found some more jobs to apply to.

2. I did nice things for myself.

3. My girlies made me laugh sooo much today at the store.

I just don't know anymore.

He lies, he gets mad at me when I do anything. I will never tell himthe truth about anything because I know he wont tell me anything. He will never tell me the truth so he doesn't deserve the truth. I am not even caring at all anymore. He says things to me that are insanely hurtful and so double sided. He tells me he hopes I enjoy the sex with the guy I'm with, yet he's the one going out with what ever women he can. I just laugh and go along with it. He says he drives by the house all the time. Let him. I don't do anything and even if I did, he would have NO room to say anything. He makes sexy videos "for my eyes only" ha thats a lot of bullshit. Oh well. It's laughable at this point. He's stupid, all the girls that still follow his every movement are stupid, all dumb.

Meh. On the plus side my weight loss is spactacular. Amazing what anorexia will do. I have been eating for the past week and a half cause my dad is here. I feel nasty when I do eat. When he leaves it will be back to the normal hardly eating at all diet. 20 lbs in 2 months, Yes I think I can do that again.